Emotional blackmail is when someone uses your feelings to control you, often without you even realizing it. It’s not always obvious, but the impact can be deep and long-lasting. The person doing it might seem like they care about you, but their actions show otherwise.
Recognizing the signs of emotional blackmail can help you protect yourself and set healthier boundaries. Let’s go over 8 warning signs that someone might be using your emotions against you.
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Threats and Ultimatums
A clear sign of emotional blackmail is when someone tries to control you with threats or ultimatums. They might say things like, “If you don’t do this, I’ll leave you,” or “If you really cared, you would agree.” These statements are designed to make you feel scared or anxious, pushing you to do what they want.
Playing the Victim
Another common tactic is acting like they’re always the one being wronged. They might constantly talk about how much they’ve suffered or how hard things are for them, making you feel guilty. This is their way of manipulating your sympathy to get you to do what they want. When someone is always positioning themselves as the victim, it’s often a way to keep you feeling responsible for their happiness.
Withholding Affection or Approval
If someone starts withholding love, affection, or approval when they don’t get their way, it’s a red flag. They might become distant or cold until you do what they ask, making you feel like you have to earn their love. It’s a manipulative way of keeping you under their control by making you crave their affection.
Constantly Reminding You of Past Favors
Emotional blackmailers often remind you of things they’ve done for you in the past as a way to guilt you into doing something now. They might say, “After everything I’ve done for you, you owe me this.” This tactic is meant to make you feel like you’re in debt to them, pushing you to comply with their current demands.
Twisting the Truth
Another sign is when someone regularly twists the truth to suit their needs. They might exaggerate, distort facts, or even lie to make you doubt your own judgment. This can leave you feeling confused and more reliant on them.
Switching Between Praise and Criticism
A high-functioning emotional blackmailer will often switch between praising you and then criticizing you. One moment they’ll be telling you how great you are, and the next, they’re tearing you down. This up-and-down treatment can leave you desperate for their approval, making you more likely to do whatever it takes to stay in their good graces.
Isolating You from Others
If someone is trying to keep you away from your friends, family, or support networks, it’s a big warning sign. They might suggest that no one else understands you or that others are bad for you. When you’re cut off from others, you become more dependent on them, which is exactly what they want.
Making You Doubt Your Own Feelings
Finally, emotional blackmailers often make you question your own feelings. They might tell you that you’re overreacting or being too sensitive, making you doubt your own emotions. This tactic is designed to undermine your confidence, making you more likely to go along with what they want because you’re no longer sure of your own judgment.
Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information.
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