7 Ways to Spot Someone Who’s Pretending to Be Nice

It’s tough when you find out someone who seemed friendly and kind isn’t genuine. At first, a fake nice person might seem sweet and caring, but their true colors can show over time. They might use their charm to manipulate or deceive you, making it hard to see their real intentions. You might notice little things that don’t add up or feel off, but it’s not always easy to put your finger on it.

In this list, we’ll highlight 7 signs that you’re dealing with someone who’s not as nice as they seem. Spotting these signs early can help you protect yourself from being hurt or used by someone pretending to be your friend.

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Inconsistent Behavior

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You might notice that this person acts super friendly when others are around, but when it’s just the two of you, they change completely. They put on a show for an audience. This inconsistency can be confusing and make you wonder who they really are. If their behavior changes depending on who’s watching, it’s a sign that their niceness might not be genuine.

Overly Flattering

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Compliments can be nice, but when someone showers you with them constantly, it can feel a bit forced. You might start to wonder if they really mean what they say or if they’re just trying to win you over. Genuine compliments come from the heart and feel natural, while excessive flattery can seem like a tactic.

Gossiping

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If you find that this person often talks badly about others when they’re not around, it’s a big red flag. It shows that they might not be trustworthy and could easily turn around and say the same things about you. Genuine nice people lift others up instead of tearing them down. If they’re always sharing juicy gossip, it might be a sign that their kindness is just a facade.

Conditional Kindness

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Sometimes, you might feel like their kindness comes with a catch. They might help you out, but then expect something in return. It might be a favor or just your gratitude. This kind of behavior can make you feel like you owe them, which isn’t how true friendship works. Real friends are there for you without keeping score.

Lack of Empathy

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A person who is truly nice will show concern for your feelings and experiences. If you find that this person struggles to understand or care about what you’re going through, it’s a sign that their niceness might not be real. They might brush off your problems or seem uninterested in your emotions. Genuine connections are built on empathy and understanding, and if that’s missing, it can feel pretty lonely.

Self-Centered Conversations

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When you talk to this person, do they always steer the conversation back to themselves? It can be exhausting when someone seems more interested in sharing their own stories than listening to yours. A good friend will engage in a two-way conversation, showing interest in your life as well.

Inauthentic Apologies

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When this person apologizes, it might feel more like a way to smooth things over rather than a heartfelt expression of regret. You might notice that their apologies lack sincerity and don’t come with any real change in behavior. If their apologies seem empty or are followed by the same behavior, it’s a sign that their niceness is just a cover.

Disclaimer – This list is solely the author’s opinion based on research and publicly available information. 

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