What makes some individuals pause, turn back, or even abandon love? Join us to explore the diverse reasons why some men have completely stopped dating.
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#1 When Broken Hearts Need Repair
“I’m just broken I think. Haven’t talked to anyone since my last breakup in 2018. Lost all my confidence and motivation.”
Sometimes, a painful breakup can shatter one’s confidence and motivation. It’s like a car with a flat tire; you need time to fix it before hitting the road of love again.
#2 From Wedding Bells to Broken Trust
“We were planning the wedding and then after 9.5 years she cheated on me with another dude…and then got re-engaged to that dude…after only knowing him for 2 weeks.”
Imagine planning a wedding and then discovering your partner cheated and jumped ship after almost a decade of being together. That’s what happened to one user, whose ex not only left but got engaged to someone new within a mere two weeks. Sometimes, relationships throw curveballs that make even the bravest souls reconsider the dating game.
#3 The Heavy Weight of Life’s Challenges
“Daughter got cancer. Thought wife and I were working through it. Then my daughter was off treatment for a year and wife decides her depression makes her not care for me anymore and shacks up with another guy while abandoning me and the daughter. Broke my confidence and created a need to defend myself and child. Don’t feel comfortable reaching that level of infancy with another person.”
Life sometimes takes unexpected turns, and when those involve serious issues like a daughter battling cancer, the road can become rocky. For one user, his wife’s abandonment during such a trying time led to a loss of confidence and a shield around his heart. The scars of past experiences can often be formidable barriers to future relationships.
#4 The Liberation of Solitude
“Because it’s exhausting. I think I’m just much happier alone. Hell is being beholden to anyone at this point in my life.”
Dating isn’t everyone’s cup of tea, and for some, it’s not even a sip worth taking. The idea of being beholden to another person feels like a journey into the depths of hell. Finding happiness in solitude can be incredibly liberating.
#5 The Search for Love in a Tiny Town
“I tried, probably too much. Friends told me to stop trying so hard and love would find me. Stopped trying so hard, love hasn’t found me in over 15 years. Not even a date. Can’t find it in me to try anymore. I now live in a tiny town 70km from any urban area. Unless you grew up knowing people here, which I didn’t, everybody has already met everybody and chosen partners.”
Living in a small town far from the urban dating scene comes with its own set of challenges. For one user, the close-knit community’s established relationships made finding love seem like a distant dream. Sometimes, the love boat just doesn’t dock in your harbor.
#6 Priorities: Pizza and Football
“I wanted to eat pizza and watch football instead.”
Who can blame a man for choosing pizza and football over dating? Sometimes, the allure of comfort food and the thrill of watching the game outweigh the complexities of modern romance.
#7 The Modern Dating Maze
“A lot of modern dating is just depressing. On apps, I’ll get maybe 5 out of 100 matched, many of which are bots. A lot of dating apps feel like being those birds that have to be flashy and dance. In person, sometimes, women will think I’m weird just for approaching them in a bar. Maybe it’s just me actually being weird unintentionally, I don’t know.”
Navigating modern dating can feel like trying to win a dance competition as a bird – flashy and intimidating. For some, the high swipes-to-matches ratio on dating apps and the occasional judgmental glare in a bar are less than appealing. Whether it’s the apps or the perception, it’s no wonder some men are opting for a simpler, solo groove.
#8 Friends, Hobbies, and the Joy of Solitude
“I don’t feel the need for it. I feel fine by myself and have good friends to spend time with. And I feel like actively dating almost always ends in chaos of some sort, mind you I’m still in my early 20s so things may change but right now the thought of never finding someone doesn’t bother me because thanks to my friends I will never be lonely, and that’s all I need.”
Finding contentment in the company of good friends and pursuing hobbies often outweighs the need for dating. For one user, dating might feel like a path leading to chaos, while the joy of solitude, friendship, and adventure proves to be the more enticing journey.
#9 Too Many Hobbies, Too Little Time
“Too many hobbies, too many things to think about thanks to ADHD, I just simply can’t stop doing things long enough to go seek out people. Unless miss right is also at the taco shop. I’m good.”
Life can be a whirlwind of hobbies and interests, especially when ADHD is in the mix. For some, the constant whirl of activities leaves little room for dating pursuits. It’s all about embracing the joy of a busy, fulfilling life – taco shop encounters included.
#10 In Search of That Perfect Dynamic
“My last serious relationship was literally perfect. We were best friends, had so many common interests, and did practically everything together. But we were young, and due to family issues ended up having to move away from each other. Tried to stay in touch but it eventually fell apart. Even though I’m over her, I don’t see the point of dating anyone else unless I get the same dynamic as before. Like yeah sex is nice, but after a while you just want to enjoy being with someone.”
Finding a relationship that feels as perfect as the last can be a monumental task. Even after moving on from a past love, some men remain selective, seeking a dynamic that matches their previous best. It’s not just about settling; it’s about waiting for a connection that feels right, just like the old days.
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